Tap my shoulder again, piss ant

I don't know why law school brings out the worst in people. I swear I try so hard to be thoughtful of others because we're all in this stressful situation with shitty resources together, but sometimes I just want to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately deserves it. Our school has two tiny computer labs and for the past few days one of them has had a broken printer, which is just lovely right before finals. So I had a 10 second print job before meeting with a professor, and after waiting politely, finally sat down at a computer in the miniscule lab upstairs and put my flash drive in - but lo and behold, up waddles Erkel the jackass who actually tapped me on the shoulder (isn't that battery? and said "I was waiting!" in this petulant little tone as if he were next, (which he wasn't) or as if I could read the invisible sign that said "I am king Erkel, please step aside" around his neck. I let him have the computer because I was afraid if he tapped me again I'd rip his fucking finger off and choke him with it. He commenced to sit down and start an extensive process of booting up his laptop and looking for things. I politely asked if I could just get a quick print in while he set up his computer and this selfish asshole refused, saying he had to print 'real quick' too then sat there for another hour while a room full of people waited for five computers. Maybe I should feel sorry for him, since he appraently couldn't tell time. Perhaps if someone shoved him in a cat carrier and tied it to the back of a truck and dragged it back to his wolf mother's smelly den so he could learn to tell time and perhaps to pull his head out of his ass far enough to see that he is, in fact, not King Erkel, just some asshole who needs to learn some manners, then that would help.
I think part of the reason lawyers have a bad reputation is that snotty little fucks like him get through school because it's law school and people can't beat you up even when you really, really deserve it. Think about it. If he acted like that in, say, the mini-computer lab at the public library, or any random undergrad program, somebody would feed him his laptop and tie him to a lamppost. But we can't afford to lose our cool here or we'll get kicked out or not be allowed to take the bar or something. All that repressed anger probably has something to do with why a lot of lawyers are jerks who drink too much, too. But that's OK. Someday I'll run into him in court and if I can't mop the floor with his case, I'll pay off the janitor to mop the floor with his head. We all get what's coming to us eventually, in one way or another, even if it means growing into a bald, impotent, friendless shithead whose wife hates him and only stays for the money. Sigh. I feel better now. Repressing anger is for chumps, man, and so is being Erkel the King.