A REAL closing argument

The longer I'm in law school, the more I think that like most areas of life, the law has just gotten too complicated. We have a 1L closing argument competition coming up, which I think I'm going to enter just because there is this really arrogant chick I totally want to beat. Hey, it's as good a reason as any.
So today we got all these instructions. Stand up. Say this. Wear that. Structure your argument this way and that way. Come up with a theme. A theme? So 50 people are going to prance in front of the jury saying "this reminds me of....." a pickle. Having gas. Soup kitchens. Man, I'm glad I won't be in that jury box, which some of our professors will. I'd be failing somebody just for being an idiot. "What do you mean this case reminds you of your socks because it smells bad too? You fail. No, not just out of the competition, you fail my class too. Go ask somebody to knock some sense into you. NEXT!"
So I don't see why things have to be so complicated. Maybe just for the hell of it I'll say someting like "Members of the jury, this asshole killed this redneck because the redneck was the repo man and the asshole was a drunk loser who needed his car to get back to the liquor store. if you don't find the asshole liable, you're just as stupid as he is" then go sit down. It should get me in under the 5 minute time limit and hey, maybe I'll just win this thing because I did something different.