law school, midterms and motherf*ckers

Well, it's midterms time again, and the building is rank with the smell of flop sweat and cheeseburgers. These people should eat better. Maybe they wouldn't be so constipated looking. The thing is that I have a really bad cold and have been heavily medicated for the past few days, which just isn't a good thing. I can be a little cranky (like a kicked skunk or your average fat republican) on a good day, but on antihistamines, I just want to bitch slap some stupid fucker with a long handled shovel. Or lots of stupid fuckers, actually. I say shovel because my hands are small and a shovel covers so much more head area.
There are several people in particular I would like to hit with shovels. Or maybe ball peen hammers. I have decided to take the high road, though, and am hereby taking up collections to get them operations to keep their hands down and their fool mouths shut. So far I only have enough to buy three muzzles. Maybe I will spend the money on a shovel instead, that way I can keep it and use it to work in the garden this summer. I need a garden because I don't eat fucking cheeseburgers.
Here are a few tips for any future law students out there so your classmates won't want to beat or muzzle or buy operations for you. First, classes are not your private tutoring sessions. Second, nobody cares what you 'thought'. You were wrong. Shutup. The professor is not going to say "oh, I never thought of it that way! how brillliant! Let me call congress right away and get the law changed! Why don't you teach the class while I'm gone?" 3. Tutoring sessions are not time for the You show. Nobody is there to hear you. Once again, shut up. Don't make me get my shovel.