my theories on cheney

Lately in the news: V.P. Cheney goes hunting and mistakes an old man in an orange vest for a little brown bird. Now, here's my question: what kind of person starts a war, gets countless people killed and then relaxes by going out to shoot little animals? Here are my suggestions: 1. satan 2. satan's minion 3. someone who has sold their soul to satan 4. a vampire 5. a bloodthirsty old fuck.
Given the possible personality profiles, next we must ask how accidental this shooting really was. My theory is that he is jealous of the young guys who "get" to shoot people in Iraq and the blood of little birds just wasn't enough for him - so he figures, hey, I'm the VP, I can obviously get away with anything, and this guy is old; hell, I'll get him in my sights and say it was an accident.
Well, at least he's dedicated to something, even if it is his job as the angel of death. I'd like to contratulate him for his focus. Actually, I wish he were here right now; this room is really hot and we could put a fan behind him and cool the room with the air blown over his icy little heart. Everybody has a purpose.