Take your refrigerator and get out of here

It's over! Sales and Secured transactions is over! And after having taken that exam, I can now cross "run a marathon" off of my "things to do before I'm sixty" list. It took longer than a marathon and was probably a hell of a lot more painful. Hmm, run 26 miles or three and a half hours of picking through who gets the refrigerator? I'd rather run a real marathon. And I'm out of shape, too. And now that this class is over, I'm going to say it - I simply do NOT care who gets the motherfucking refrigerator. Bury your shit in the snow. Buy a fridge with cash. Just don't come to me. I do NOT care.

Having almost completed law school, I have come to the conclusion that law school is all about who gets the refrigerator, Blackacre and how much tax they pay on them. Three years. Now what can I do? Write a will leaving Blackacre to B, help B sell 100 refrigerators to C, defend C when he trashes D's refrigerator, represent B when his wife cheats on him with E, the refrigerator salesman, because he wants to keep Blackacre, and when B leaves his beloved farm to his ungrateful brat nephew, F, tell F how must tax to pay on his uncles' beloved farm, Blackacre.

It probably takes three years because most of us spend a lot of our class time playing computer games. It's a well kept lawyer secret. Remember that next time you're forking over $2000 for that stupid shit you did. You'll have fun with that.

This came up recently. My girlfriend teaches workshops and taught one at the non-law school part of our university, otherwise known as "parking". Somebody in our class is getting another master's degree (overacheiver of overachievers, we salute you) and was in her workshop. My girl said she figured out who was the law student in like 15 minutes. It was the girl sitting in the back playing the computer games.I told her she'd gotten lucky, we'll play that shit on the front row. So my girl asked me how we learn anything playing computer games all the time. In Sales the next day I looked around and like 80 people were playing games or shopping for shoes. I got a little defensive. I mean, how long can you pay attention to class after class and point after point about who gets the damn refigerator? Why do I need to know what a purchase money security interest is? I am a lot more interested in Mah Jong and getting to be Master Sergeant on "Overkill Apache." I just am. My fridge came with the house, which is not named Blackacre, and I'll read some inherited class outline 14 times the week before the exam and be fine. Damn fridge.

So, one more semester and I get to enter plea agreements for drunk guys who punch cops and throw shit, which really is more interesting than Overkill Apache. And hey, if they live on Blackacre or have any problems involving a fridge, like a repo that went bad, I'll know what to do, man, because it was in that inherited outline from somebody who didn't play computer games. And when I get my check I'll thank God for him. But with you as my witness, I will never, never live on Blackacre.